As human beings we want to always grow and move forward. We beat ourselves up, if we have a “bad” day and a hard time getting out of bed, and little motivation to “do” our work life. Lack of motivation doesn’t fit our productivity and achievement addicted capitalist world. Really screw that, if you have a low day or week's rest!
What I would like to talk about here is an ongoing feeling of being “low”. There's a loss of direction and going in circles without aim. Not being in your energy for a longer period of time is not normal.
In this article, I will share with you common reasons I see from my coaching work of why you could feel an ongoing “low”. In turn, I will give you some tips on what you can do to rediscover your drive and motivation as an empath.
Common reasons you lost your motivation as an empath and strategies to connect with your inner fire again
1. Survival mode instead of flow
There is something I observe with my clients when I get to know them. One of their main reasons for feeling unmotivated or blocked is that they have lost the connection to their heart and intuition. They leave their heart and feelings behind as they go through their work days.
They over-analyze their next steps or decisions. They are constantly in mental loops, worries and worst case scenarios. They feel restless, paddling hard to move forward, but forget one important thing: We are not just a thinking mind, we have a body.
Somehow, along the way we forget to go with the flow of our and natures’ rhythm. So many women are mentally and emotionally exhausted. Signs can be that you don’t sleep well, you have a hard time sitting still (restlessness physically or mentally) and have a hard time directing your energy to the things that matter to you (like a car that is constantly leaking).
Tip: First step is to be honest with yourself. Recognize where you are in survival mode, constant stress and what you do to maintain this state. Get professional support! Make a list of what brings you into flow, where can you let go and what makes you slow down. Integrate at least one of those ideas more and more into your daily rhythm.
2. Lack of purpose and direction
Usually, our generation is pretty drilled for achievement. Everything is steered for the next achievement, beginning in school, to high school, university and landing a great first job. Maybe you get married, start a family and so on.
Sooner or later, we ask ourselves: Am I still on the right path? Do I have a purpose? The more you get to know yourself, the more you might question the “rules” and expectations from the culture you grew up in. The same happens with the opinion of your parents and peers. Maybe you experience a life disruption, like getting sick or losing a loved one like I did. Our world keeps changing, our job environment too… and so do we.
Tip: If you are going through a period where you are frustrated with your current work life and have a hard time getting up in the morning, I recommend investing time into getting to know your values. Explore what is important to you. How do you embody your truth (e.g. at work) and where are you compromising yourself and your values at work?
Acknowledge how much you have changed in the last years. And remember: You don’t need your peers or parents’ approval anymore. You are safe to make your own choices even if no one around you understands.
If you are not sure what your values are, check out this article that takes you through the steps:
Tip: Instead of asking yourself “what is my purpose?” ask what bothers you, what are the things that you would like to see differently in this world? What breaks your heart?
This could be exactly the task you are here for and where you can make a difference.
3. Too much focus on the outside
As an empathic woman, it is easy to lose the connection to yourself. You are naturally able to tune into what the people around you need to be taken care of. When you fulfill different roles as a daughter, mother, friend, boss, colleague and partner, your own voice can take a backseat. The martyr mentality of sacrificing yourself for your job, kids, etc. is still celebrated as a big achievement.
Tip: If you have reached a place of feeling unmotivated, even burnt-out and resentful it is vital to check where you give your power away and why. Ask yourself in which areas of your life are you not showing up for yourself? Scan if you are invested in unhealthy relationships that drain your energy. Find out where you need to take better care of yourself, e.g. setting boundaries with a co-worker or client. Choose one thing you can do or can stop doing as of today that frees you from the martyr mentality.
Too much focus on the outside can also mean constant input and distraction from social media, podcasts, and so on. Social media especially can make us feel like a loser. Often we consume others' content and compare ourselves with them. It’s the best excuse to never get started, as you believe you can never get there anyway.
Tip: Follow people on social media that motivate you and show what is possible also for you. Stop spending time with accounts or following gurus that make you feel small and shallow.
The more you bombard yourself with noise, the less you will be able to tap into your own thinking, creativity and space. That is the only source for your own insights to emerge.
Tip: Start and end your day in silence. No phone, no music, no distraction. Even 10 minutes of uninterrupted time where you are with yourself will help you to access your intuition and learn again what drives you. This can be through meditation, journaling, or going for a walk.
4. Stuck in routines
Empaths need routines to feel safe. This is because they get easily overwhelmed with the demands from the outside world. Spending time alone, being in nature, journaling are all great practices to stay well and centered.
The hermit tendencies can go too far if we feel stuck and unmotivated in our day-to-day lives. Maybe you are so safe and in control of everything, that you are not moving at all or only at snail’s pace.
Tip: We can play it way too safe! When was the last time you went out to the unknown and allowed for adventure? When did you last say yes to an opportunity even though it felt uncomfortable, scary?
Explore a new place or choose a different route. Attend a conference and learn a new skill or apply for a fascinating gig. End something that does not feel right anymore. There are so many ways to break out of your comfort routines to rekindle your inner sparkle again.
Let me know what resonated with you. I hope my perspective on why you might feel “unmotivated” is helpful for you. We all have been in those phases. There are no quick fixes, but some of the methods may help you remember that you have a heart that wants to be included in your work life choices ;).
If you want to know more about how you can rekindle your inner fire and become clear about your path, contact me for a free conversation about the Heart@work journey. This is my 1:1 coaching program where empathic women get personalized and professional support to take steps towards a freeing and meaningful work life.